Sunday, March 4, 2007

The Road Less Traveled

This has not been a good weekend.  To top off the events of Friday... my mom's husband was taken by ambulance to the hospital for bleeding in his stomach.  Not a huge emergency... he is pretty much fine.  I did a lot of running around on Saturday when I shouldn't have been driving.  I went in the evening to go pick up his son from work and take him to the hospital.  As I came around to the top of the hill that takes me out of my neighborhood, I had to pull over.  The moon was just simply amazing.  Being high up I saw the full moon crystal clear.  It had this yellow tinge to it and was partially covered by transparent, wispy clouds.  It was so amazing that it looked unreal.  Similar to something you would see in a movie or painting.  It was early evening so the night sky was this deep navy blue... absolutely gorgeous... Very calming for some reason. 

I drove a lot last night.  Back and forth from the hospital... taking his son places, etc.  So of course this means I had tons of time to think.  My mind was all over the place.  I thought about the time in Florida when it would rain buckets and come down so hard it scared me.  Then all of a sudden, as if someone had turned off the tap, it would stop.  The little frogs would come up from the pond and into the hallway next to the apartment door.  It would get very humid (not really conducive for long hair...) and it would go back to being hot again.  I thought about when I left Florida and headed north into Georgia very early in the morning.  The highway led you over many swamp-like lakes across Georgia... I got to see a lot of the states I would probably never visit.  My mind wandered back even further and thought about the time in high school when I bought my 1966 Ford Mustang.  Here is a picture of my awesome car that I sold and regret doing almost everyday...

Just like listening to that one song... why would I want to put myself through memories that were so bad at times?  I sink down into the thoughts of the past that aren't so great.  Kody once asked if I was in love with my sadness... My response was to tell him that if I was so in love with my sadness... I would stay and live with him.  Two days later I left.  I am not in love with my sadness but merely... I embrace it.  It reminds me how grateful I should be of my current existence.  Yes, I am not doing so hot right now... but they could be so much worse.  Much worse.  I don't have a point really... other than last night's sky was amazing and I wish I could have stopped to take pictures of it.  At least for a few minutes I was able to pull over and enjoy it.  When I came back from Florida and got my job at Amgen, my mom's husband said to me... "Well now you should be able to start living again and actually enjoying life."  How true...

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