...caught on camera!!!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Our Wedding - The Slideshow
My amazing photographer Amanda put together a slideshow that includes some more pictures. It is set to the song that I walked down the aisle to - Frou Frou "Let Go". It is from our favorite movie "Garden State".
Monday, February 1, 2010
Our Wedding
I woke Ian up at 5:30 this morning to tell him that Amanda had posted our pictures. Surprisingly he was just as excited as I was!!
I'll start off by saying that our wedding was absolutely wonderful. I wouldn't change anything aside from having Erik there. My wedding photographer was {Amanda Bordonaro}. She made both Ian and I very comfortable. Not to mention, she took beautiful pictures and really helped add to our day. She posted the following pictures on her website linked above. More to follow I'm sure!
This is our ring pillow (fake rings in it so Cooper didn't fling the real ones away). The snowflake is the comb I wore in my hair.
My mom recently found this handkerchief... It belonged to my grandmother on my mom's side. My grandfather was born in Saskatchewan, Canada. We guess that at some point my grandparents went back to visit and she got this as a souvenir. I carried it along with my bouquet. The folder is what I used as my "wedding planning book". It has all of the receipts and pictures in it.
Getting mascara put on by someone else is torture for me.
My first reaction to seeing my reflection in a mirror following the hair and makeup was to think "OMG I have beehive hair!". My goal was not to look like a complete stranger to Ian and I think I pulled that off. Just a little more makeup and bigger hair than usual!
Bless my mom and sister. They had one heck of a time trying to tie up my dress.
The hotel was beautiful... Amanda was able to get a lot of amazing shots of the hotel which you can see on her website.
Ian's tie is a reference to a comic that we have framed on our wall - XKCD. Cooper, Ian and I all wore Vans. Another goal of ours was to make it more about us than a traditional wedding. Ian hates dress shoes and the vintage heels I was going to wear didn't work out. In the end, we were both really comfortable.
I *LOVE* this picture of Ian. People said prior to the wedding he looked nervous. He said he was more worried about our officiant showing up on time. But when I took his hand at the "altar" it was shaking. So was mine. :)
Our centerpieces, which doubled as accent pieces during the ceremony, were mason jars etched with parts of our vows.
As my photographer said, Cooper stole the show. We are more than happy with that! Honestly, he was the best ringbearer. He was so relaxed and calm... He held the ring pillow by a string and walked down the aisle. He was dressed in a suit for a VERY long time. I think Ian got fussy about being dressed up before he did! I can't wait to get more pictures of him. My sister did his hair just like Ian's - in a bit of a faux hawk. So adorable.
The ceremony was held in a conservatory (this word makes me think of "Clue") just off of the reception room. It was very pretty, especially looking out onto the snow covered grounds.
In Canada, it is customary to sign the wedding license during the ceremony or very shortly after with 2 witnesses. We signed and then my mom and Ian's dad signed.
We kept hoping for more snow but I think we have decided in the end that it was better it didn't. The hotel grounds were covered just enough to make it feel really wintery. But it wasn't so deep that we could easily walk through the orchard and explore a bit.
We put together mini suitcase favors. I had to include rubber duckies in it!
Our cake was both delicious and cute!
Our guests enjoyed little mini cakes with our cake toppers recreated in sugar on them.
All in all it was a wonderful wedding. More pictures to come. Check out Amanda's site for additional pictures from this batch - www.amandaraeblog.com
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Slowly Getting There...
I'm slowly getting geared up for the wedding. I haven't had any drive to work on it... but Erik would be upset at me if I didn't make the wedding everything I want it to be. The last few days I've been making dinner reservations and planning out the things I need to do. I've added a button to this site for where we are registered. The post wedding announcements won't list the registry information but it will have this site address on it. Friday I get my dress back and get to see the jacket the seamstress created for me. That's pretty darn exciting. My hair trial went well and I think I picked the style that is elegant but still "me". It's also nice to get your makeup done by someone who gets what you are going for... natural but enough to show up in pictures. We'll see!
On another note... the weather needs to cooperate. We are getting a few flurries here and there but I need one big storm to come through. Preferably not the day of... but I will take anything at this point! What is it with weddings... I thought - Canada - January - we will definitely get some snow...... Boo! It should at least be a little overcast which is good for picture taking. I'm crossing my fingers... still 2 weeks out.
This gave me a laugh today... a little nerdy Harry Potter joke.
Friday, January 1, 2010
My "Dad" - Erik Gates
I've waited to put down my thoughts... for a few reasons. I think anything I could write would make my mom cry and I don't want to do that. But also the grief is still fresh for me. I'll start at the beginning and try not to ramble too much.
When my mom began dating Erik I was against it. She had started dating following her divorce from my dad. First of all, I was happy they were getting a divorce. They weren't happy together. You don't want your parents to not be happy. So they separated and for awhile my mom was perfectly content with being single. She slowly started dating and went through the crap that guys can put you through. One of the guys made her really unhappy and again... I don't want to see that. So when she met Erik and was full steam ahead... I was against it. I held my ground for 4 months. I stand by my decision! But I decided to call my mom up and agree to dinner after it was clear this guy wasn't going away. I set the ground rules that we would meet at a neutral meeting place of my choosing (Cho Cho San) and I would bring my friend Kelly. Following the dinner, I guess I determined he was good enough for my mom and gave my blessing on the relationship (haha).
From that point on, I was willing to get to know the crazy guy named Erik. He was smart, funny, and could take it as much as he could dish it out. Most of all, he became my dad. My actual father was never much of a dad. He was very into himself. If he was unhappy, everyone had to be unhappy. A few years later I would end contact with him - wishing him well and hoping he is happy with his new family - but letting go of the relationship because it was not worth it anymore. I was "grown". I certainly did not need some guy becoming my dad. Erik stepped into that role without being pushy. He was respectful of me. He respected that I was "grown" and probably didn't need it... but he was there. I could call him and bounce ideas off of him and get help when I needed it. The typical cliche... he became the father I never had. I only wish he had entered our lives earlier. We were extremely lucky to have him for the time we did.
When I moved to Florida, he helped where he could... When I moved back from Florida he was the first one to offer to come out there and drive me back. He paid to get my boxes shipped back... he genuinely cared how I was doing. I was happy to be back in his presence. With my actual dad, his loved seemed to be measured by how much money he had. He was happy when he had a lot and he was extremely unhappy when he had none. Erik's love didn't measure against money. He wanted to provide for my mom and his family but the love was constant. He could make anyone laugh and have a conversation with anyone. He was absolutely hilarious... My mom's house has cameras you can check on a website. I was on the site to show Ian her house. I called my mom and told her we were looking and Erik told us to look at a specific camera. When I clicked onto it, he was there mooning us. That was Ian's first introduction to Erik. Too funny.
Erik helped Ian and I pace ourselves with the move across the United States. He called for updates... made sure we were stopping often, etc. He tracked our progress and supported my mom through it all. I'm so very grateful that he came up in September to see where I live and check how things were going. He got to meet Ian's parents and see the place we were going to get married. I'm so happy that worked out... we met them in Niagara Falls, had a nice lunch and got some pictures (unfortunately I don't have nearly enough pictures of Erik and I... he was always the one behind the camera!). We led them back to our place and spent the night. Then we drove back down to Kamber's house for Cooper's first birthday.
I'm going through a lot of emotions right now. I think I'm still in shock of course... but I'm kind of angry. I'm pissed that Erik doesn't not get to see Cooper grow up more. He was head over heels in love with his grandson Cooper. He told everyone he met that Kamber was expecting again. I'm upset that Ian and I didn't have kids for Erik to meet. He was so great with Cooper... It just sucks. Plain and simple.
The trip out here has made me realize a few things. Erik was loved so completely by a ton of people. His service was attended by over 200. He lived 5 lifetimes more than anyone else. But most of all, he lived the cliche - every day was lived like it was his last. After breaking his neck, getting and surviving cancer and every other injury he had, he KNEW life is short. Because he knew it, he refused to spend one day unhappy. Clearly it makes a lot of people evaluate their lives. Erik's brother Dirk spoke at length during Erik's service. One of his points was the need to find balance in our lives. The balance between work and living your life. Erik was able to easily find that balance. Ian and I are still figuring that one out.
Another thing I discovered while being out here. I realized how much I love Ian. I wasn't sure if he would come out with me... he would miss Christmas and all... but to him there was no question he would come out. He has been so supportive. When I couldn't sleep he would just chat away about Major League Baseball rumors. He even needed an emergency root canal while we are here and still kept up a good mood. I appreciate him more because I know good guys like him and Erik are rare. We are getting married 3 weeks and, although it will be hard, I'm really looking forward to it.
I'm comforting myself with certain thoughts... He's probably jumping off buildings and bridges that would have been illegal while he was here. Launching monster rockets... kicking back in Mexico, drinking as many Long Island Iced Teas as he wants and soaking up the sun... He can now watch over his whole family regardless of where we live - especially his 3 children. Jessica, Ashley and David are all in good places right now. I hope that they stay on their current paths. It is shocking that he is gone... I miss him so much, everyone does... but I know that he would be so pissed at us if we waste the time we have been given. He used his lifetime to the fullest - if that makes sense. I love him as if we were my real dad... and to honor him and his impact on me, I'm going to make sure I use the time I have to the fullest. Or try really, really hard. The man left one hell of a legacy. Google "Erik Gates" and read for hours about him... the tributes... the pictures... again, he lived 5 lifetimes or more than anyone else.
The following is a Led Zeppelin song... He *loved* classic rock and this reminds me of him.
"An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see..."
I love you Erik. Thank you for filling in the dad role for me. I miss you so much and hope to make you proud.