Tuesday, January 8, 2013


I'm motivated beyond just the thought of.. "I WANT TO BE SKINNY". Honestly, I don't think I've ever truly had that thought. My thoughts have been more.. practical...? honest?

  • I want to be healthy. I want to LOOK like I'm healthy.
  • I want to know that I'm healthy. I am terrified that my weight will finally catch up to my health and I'll be in real trouble. I've gone through bouts of hypochondria and it is usually surrounding my weight issue.
  • I want to wear the clothes that I want to wear. I will find something that is beautiful, my style but know that it would never look good on me... usually because of my middle.
  • I want to get pregnant, have an issue free pregnancy and a healthy baby. It's my main motivation now. 
  • Currently, every other thought is about my weight, appearance, and what other people are thinking. I want that to stop. I've made a few steps.. even last year to make myself more presentable and feel more comfortable. I'm wearing makeup again and actually caring what I look like. There are days where I don't... but everyone has those. 
  • I want energy. Last year there were huge periods where I would have big highs and lows of energy. I want a consistent source. (I've cut out lots of sugar.. sodas... etc.)
  • Lastly, I just want to be happy in my own skin. Period.

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